A song

Hi ho, Hi ho, It's off to work I go
With Razor Blades and Hand Grenades
Hi ho, Hi ho, Hi ho, Hi ho
---

Evening Update:
Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's home from work I go
With motions written and interrogatories served
Hi ho, hi ho, hi ho, hi ho

A follow-up post

The last post I wrote has gotten a lot of feedback. I should clarify a little about the job itself as to why I am not interested in taking it. I took this interview just to practice being in an interview. This firm is not what one would call a traditional law firm and the actual work of the associates at this firm is not what I would consider traditional legal work. This is why I am leaning towards declining an offer.

I fully recognize that I am unemployed and have been that way since I graduated, it sucks. It sucks mortgaging my financial future in order to live in the present. But money, to me, is not the sole motivating factor in finding a job. I don't think that taking a job while having every intention to leave as soon as I get a better offer is a good way to go about things. When I accept an offer, I want to be able to commit to a place that will spend time and resources training me to be a better lawyer.

I hope this clarifies things a little bit and I look forward to the witty banter in the comments.

This beggar is being a chooser

I had a job interview the other day. It went rather well and I believe I will be getting an offer from this firm. However, unless the money is so outrageous (which it won't be) to compensate for the work (which is not the sort I'm looking to do), I will graciously decline.

And then I will go apply to work as a McDonalds Fry Chef.

Random thoughts from the job hunt

1. Have you ever been signing a cover letter and halfway through your signature you forget how to spell your name? That just happened to me. I ended the signature by adding a few squiggles. It's likely that the person who reads this cover will think that the signor was a mentally disabled person. And I hope that they give me a call.

2. Best job posting I've seen today: "Seeking a personal injury attorney who wants justice at the expense of Corporate America" If I had met their qualifications, I would have applied.

3. I've asked my roommate to 'borrow' a fax machine from his office; He doesn't seem open to committing larceny. Accountants these days...

Two what? Did you say yoots?

I'm spending my night before my final interview of the week like anyone in my position would. I have finished a bottle of wine, turned on My Cousin Vinny on HBO, and I am currently semi-drunkenly emailing out resumes and cover letters to random potential employers.

Who wouldn't want to hire me?

The Extraordinary Life of an Unemployed J.D.

There is a school in Chicago currently using the tagline: 'preparing people to lead extraordinary lives' in their latest ad campaign. After hearing the ad, it made me think about my current job search.

I made Dean's list in undergrad several times and again in law school, I had a good job during law school, and I won a National Trial Competition along the way. That was the preparation, my 'extraordinary life' now consists of sleeping, sending resumes, and playing Xbox 360. [I'm pretty damn good at Xbox 360]

One of my smart friends (I define smart as a guy that has passed the patent bar, is fluent in Spanish, and has a damn good undergrad degree) got in touch with a recruiter to help aid in his job search. The voice on the other end went something like this: "You didn't grade on to law review after your first year and because you went to the school that you did, there's really nothing I can do for you. Thanks for calling. Good bye." Nothing like being handed an excuse to drink in the morning...

I guess the extraordinary life that we were being prepared for was figuring out how to pay off student loans when no one wants to hire you.

Putting my J.D. to good use

Not that I'm getting desperate or anything...

And now for something completely different

10:51:06 AM thenambypamby: i feel dirty
10:51:16 AM thenambypamby: i just applied to a PD
10:51:22 AM Episcopus: hahaha
10:51:39 AM Episcopus: do you need to vomit and shower now
10:53:02 AM thenambypamby: i should
10:59:47 AM thenambypamby: and now
10:59:52 AM thenambypamby: im applying to a bankruptcy firm
10:59:58 AM thenambypamby: for reasons i cannot come to terms with
11:00:12 AM Episcopus: you are peddling your soul awfully quickly
11:00:19 AM Episcopus: the bar exam was only a month ago
11:01:14 AM thenambypamby: you are right...but playing xbox 360 wont pay the bills
11:01:32 AM Episcopus: true
11:01:50 AM Episcopus: you could go downtown and panhandle
11:01:57 AM Episcopus: at least you would still have your dignity

They tell me that Truth is a defense to Libel

I've kept my law school anonymous throughout the entire life of this blog, although those of you who know me know the school I attended. I've also kept where I worked throughout school anonymous. I've done my best to keep anonymous while relaying things that I have experience or my friends have experienced throughout their legal education and beyond. And this is how I intend it to remain.

Now, you might be asking, why on earth did I just write the above passage?

There's a topic of conversation floating around this blog. Has to deal with my job search, the road blocks that I've encountered, and the people who you come in to contact with along the way. My last post dealt with an office of my law school that is tasked with aiding students and alumni in finding employment. Specifically, with their system of approving resumes before letting students and alumni apply online for jobs listed in their system.

I've written in the past about how my resume was posted to their system and then denied. I wrote earlier this week that I resubmitted my resume to the office for approval. I have received their response, their 'suggestions', and a request from the office. The short end of it: they rejected my resume again.

For complete and total disclosure sake: The changes that they have asked for is placing the city and state of where I worked and went to school, the fact that their MS Office reformats my resume into two pages and this is a no-no, and that my knowledge of and ability to work with Adobe Products and Microsoft Office is completely surplussage.

Without further adieu, here is their e-mail with my name redacted and with emphasis added at two sections:

***Just a few changes that are critical to make but not hard -otherwise your resume looks good. Also, I strongly recommend that you remove the bashing of our office from your blogspot page. Employers do research potential employees using these sites and you want to appear professional and courteous at all times.***

Thank you for submitting your résumé. After a cursory review and critique of your résumé, we believe that revisions should be made to more effectively market your skills and abilities to employers. Accordingly, your résumé has not been approved for posting.

Please see the attached document bearing recommended revisions and revise your résumé accordingly.

I could put some amazing summation here. I could put some witty conclusory statement as I am prone to do. But they are likely reading this post [perhaps after deeply exhaling that I have not identified the author of the email or their employer] and they have said that I should be professional and courteous at all times. So, I am going to give it a try with a request:

Would you please approve my resume. Please? I just want to apply for a job.

I've said it before and I'll say it again...

Editor's Note: I've been asked to remove the bashing of Career Services, so the appropriate edits have been made

Career Services sucks is less than a user friendly operation.

I just want to apply to the job postings. To a job. Any job. But yet, I have no suitable resume for their liking and thus cannot use their system. However, I am unemployed. Thus, I will do what they want. And I will pray that their peanut sized brains approve of my resume sometime before I can seek social security soon.