Every day, I get a call from a money seeking potential client that thinks that they have the next lottery ticket case. Unfortunately, these people are dead set on cashing in on their fake payday and they do not like when their parade gets rained on. Especially when they have as much of a case as Rod Blagojevich does against the government.
This means, if I am the bad guy, I’m going to get yelled at.
I don’t like getting yelled at.
Thus, in the last three years, I’ve developed a few easily stated cop-outs that will allow you to end the phone call/client meeting/email conversation
- I’m sorry, you are looking at a very specialized legal action and we aren’t specialized enough to handle that sort of matter. Unfortunately, I don’t have someone that I can refer you to.
- I hate to say this, but the statute of limitations has expired and there isn’t anything anyone can do.
- That’s an interesting fact pattern; you should talk with a civil rights attorney.
- We aren’t licensed in the jurisdiction.
- Unfortunately, we don’t have the time to commit to this sort of litigation.
- Based on the facts that you have given me, it wouldn’t be worth hiring an attorney. I’d recommend handling this one on your own.
- The sort of action that you are looking to engage in is quite costly and we are not in a position that we can commit the resources or the people to the case that you want to pursue. I recommend calling the Bar Association lawyer referral program.
- I'm sorry, I'm just not that into you.