Tuesday, March 01, 2011

These Lawyers Behaved Badly

I was sitting in the jury box waiting for my case to be called this morning when I witnessed my new favorite judge teach two lawyers a lesson they obviously missed in kindergarten.

Their case was called, up they went and then everything went to hell in a hand basket at ludicrous speed. To set the stage, think of two whiny children (in their late 40s/early 50s) that have had way too much caffeine and not enough hugs:

Defense Counsel: This case is settled and we are just waiting for a few documents.
Plaintiffs Counsel: There is no settlement!
DC: What are you talking about, I have the signed release right here.
PC: If I may, your honor, I don’t think the counsel is fully up on the file.
DC: What on earth are talking about? We settled this case...
PC: There is no evidence of any...
DC: If I may finish.
The Judge: No, you may not finish. Just stop it. Both of you need to stop. This is unbelievable. Both of you are unprofessional, rude and obnoxious...
At this point, all 30 other attorneys in the room begin to shift in their seats uneasily.
The Judge: You have wasted my time, you have wasted the time of all of these other attorneys seated here and you will get out of my courtroom right now And maybe the next time you are here you both will have learned how to be professional. Now get out of my sight.
Then, and I didn’t see it, but I believe the Plaintiff’s counsel smirked.

I don’t know why he did and I for sure don’t know why he let the judge see it. But I do know that it was the wrong thing to do.
The Judge: You think this is funny, counselor? I’m not sure what I see funny about this at all. If you are going to behave like this, I don’t want to see you again. Get out. Right now.
Mind you, the Judge’s words do not give his demeanor the appropriate justice. He was livid with these two and was anything but quiet in admonishing them as he ejected them from his courtroom.

The moral here is not to act like addle schoolchildren before a judge.

Not like you should have to be taught this lesson.