It was about eight o'clock Saturday evening when I received a somewhat frantic email from a somewhat frantic partner:
WHAT'S GOING ON WITH SMITH??????!!?!?!?!?!? I NEED TO KNOW ASAPThis late weekend missive was sent in an attempt to find out the status of one of the files that we have that was rapidly moving towards the statute of limitations. Also, it was an attempt to reaffirm that this individual works too much. And uses caps lock inappropriately.
Now, this email was sent to me and my senior partner was CC'ed in on it. Since I do not live with my phone attached to my side and I had just finished working out; I had missed this email's arrival by about 12 minutes. (I'm sure this would have been grounds for termination at BigLaw). So, I'm standing in my gym's lockerroom, in a state of sweaty undress, when I begin my response:
Smith was summarily executed, dismembered and sent to Siberia for burial.But for whatever reason, I didn't hit send. I saved the email and hit the shower.
15 minutes later, I return to my locker and check my phone. Two text messages, two missed calls and one tersely worded voicemail were awaiting my attention. From my senior partner letting me know that I was not to respond to this other partner's inquiry and that he'd handle it.
Now, I don't think that the end of the world would have happened had I hit send...but my question with this whole situation is what would have happened had I been drinking?