Friday's lack of political correctness.

1. It's a lot easier to sue a doctor for malpractice if they are ugly.

2. If you are trying to sue the Department of Corrections for something bad that happened whilst incarcerated, I will not take you as a client. Ever.

3. If you can't spell your first, middle or last name, trust me when I say that I am right. And please don't have kids.

4. Lawyer is the Klingon word for being smarter than you. Client is the French word for dummy.

5. Silence is golden. Eloquent speech is divine. Both will get billed in six minute intervals.