Thursday, August 19, 2010

Repeating to the client hallmark well wishes. (And other half-truths)

I write a lot of letters to clients. Day in and day out it always begins: "I hope that you are doing well."

Every letter. All the time. Going on three years.

I was going through a rather large file yesterday and found about 40 letters to this client that all (save one) began exactly the same way. That's a lot of hoping life is going well.

As these letters start out with my standard boilerplate only to begin the path towards nastiness with the very next sentence: "I hope that you are doing well. As you know, we appeared before Judge Soandso last week and he entered sanctions against you for offensive body odor..." But sometimes this is a necessary evil as there is no good way to begin a client letter. I just can't bring myself to say "I hope your spirits are high after the botched circumcision."

I need a new opening line to my clients. Something that conveys warmth (that I don't have) while implying hope that they haven't shat all over their cases.

Any suggestions?