Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Summering with Namby: Part I

Law Clerk, thy name is Bambi.

Bambi (no, he’s not John Dorian) is a really good kid and has just finished his first year of last school. Good kids, while they are intelligent, hardworking and knowledgeable, have absolutely zero idea on how things work in the practice of law. My job, as I have decided, is to fix that.

Last week, I asked what I should have Bambi do while he is spending his summer at my firm. After that post, I received a lot of creative, useful and some downright evil suggestions on how to use his time. For instance: I took him to court with me, but didn’t tell him that we were going into Judge’s chambers. “Your Honor, I’d like you to meet Bambi...”

Despite the look of terror that briefly flashed over him, I don’t think that many law firm clerks can say that they were having private conversations with presiding judges on their second day.

However, as much as Bambi is there for my entertainment needs, I also need to (a) have him do work and (b) educate him.

Slowly but surely, I am handing off my MBW in the typical fashion which reduces my stress level exponentially. I am able to Feng Shui my desk by dumping crap onto his. The downside is this: it takes more time to explain to him what I want done, edit his first cut, review my changes with him, buy him ice cream because I’ve hurt his feelings and then finalize something that was already overdue before I handed it to him in the first place. For those wondering, MBW stands for Mindless Bitch Work, but I digress…

I was honest with Bambi in his first day: “I’m going to try and have you do things that you will have no idea what you are doing. That’s fine. We don’t expect you to know what you are doing. But I am going to do my best to make your resume blow your classmates right out of the water. I have friends that don’t have jobs right now, I don’t want you to be in that position come 5 years from now. You understand?”

He nodded.

“Here’s a client file, draft the complaint, I need it in two hours.”