I provide free legal services to my friends. They get what they pay for.

I’ve been asked to represent one of my friends in an administrative matter. He’s only starting to grasp the magnitude of his error.

I filled out the paperwork, went to his office yesterday for his signature and we went to the department to file our documentation. He and I got shuffled around from office to office until we finally get latched up with, as best as I can tell, is the boss of this governmental office:

Boss: How can I help you?
Me: He didn’t pay his taxes, arrest him.
Friend: ALLEGEDLY!
Me: Big time criminal here, arrest him.
Friend: Some sort of lawyer you are.

As we were leaving the area and heading back to my friend’s office, we passed an Illinois State Trooper. I walked up to him, pointed to my friend and whispered: “He didn’t pay his taxes, please arrest him.”

Who needs legal help? Anybody? Hello???