Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The Personal Injury Lawyer Before Christmas

Twas three days before Christmas and all through the firm,
Very few lawyers were present, not even that weird real estate guy.
The last minute filings, prepared all night, were stapled right there.
In hopes that the old presiding judge would read with care.

The law clerks made it in, despite the warmth of their beds.
While they worked, visions of passing law schools grades danced in their heads.
The office manager quietly sat with her knitting in her lap.
The aged attorney just began a nap.

The day was just ho-hum, but then arose such a clatter.
I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.
Away to the fax machine, I ran a 40-meter dash.
I tore past the cover page and dove into the text with a flash.

The grin on this lawyer’s face was starting to show.
After six fortnights of waiting, I started to glow.
What, to my wondering eyes did appear?
Nothing more than a banker asking “Can I dump the money right here?”

With a little skip in my step, ever so quick,
I gloated about a hospital bill, (yes I am that sick).
As vapid as it may be, this is the game,
Thus it is also why I shouted my partner’s name

“My Partner, Named Partner! Stop working on Quicken!
Put down your Blackberry and understand why I’m stricken.
We finally have everything we need, records and all,
For the Smith case, to make the long awaited settlement call!”

Like the skilled robber, I wrote on the fly:
"Give me your insurance policy!” (Hands up! Reach to the sky!)
So up the chain of command, my policy-limits demand flew,
[It’s not like I was asking for the Sun, the moon, and the stars, too]

And then, after watching time fly by, I became aloof.
The wait and the silence causes my psyche to go “Oof!”
What’s going on here? Am I getting the run around?
I’m watching the phone but it will not sound…

Thus I continued to sit at my desk and tap my foot.
Google passes the time (I’m learning words that rhyme with soot!)
As the minutes turn to hours, I turn to get a snack.
Because as I await this call, I cannot fade to black…

I awake, some time later, with my face a shade of cherry.
There is a post it note in front of me: “Please Call Gary!”
I’ve blown the case that was tied up in a bow.
The simplest of tasks and I’ve gone to eat the yellow snow.

I dial the numbers, my smile dims and my hopes fall beneath,
There’s nothing like expecting a kick in the teeth.
Gary answered the phone with a voice emanating from his belly
I apologized for missing his call as I was eating a peanut butter & jelly.

We talked and talked about the case and my client himself:
His injuries and treatment not to mention liability itself.
As we continued, I began to see the thoughts in his head
Soon, I realized, I had nothing to dread.

We spoke for a while and then I returned to work,
I then reached for the phone with a face full of smirk.
I’ve settled my biggest case and yet no one knows…
In doing so, I’ve secured my client from fiscal woes.

My partner approached with arms raised while giving a hearty whistle.
Jumping up and down so much I think he thought he was a missile.
But I heard him exclaim, as he ran out of sight
“Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!”