MEMO TO: All secretaries, paralegals, law clerks, claims handlers, judicial staff, opposing counsel and anyone everywhere that I come into contact with in a professional capacity.
FROM: Namby. Just Namby. Not. Mr. Pamby, Counselor Pamby or Mr. Namby Pamby, Esq.
I’m 27 and I’ve been a licensed, practicing attorney for over two years. Let me rephrase: I’m 27 and I’ve been in the working world for two years. I have no blockbuster verdicts to my name, I’ve never negotiated an eleven-figure merger nor have I successfully become Chief Justice Robert’s right hand man. In other words, I don’t want reverence solely because I am a guy that spent seven straight years in the land of higher education.If only I could make this policy effective...
Yes, I went to law school. Yes, I passed the bar. Yes, I have a job at a firm. But that doesn’t mean that I am somehow God’s gift to the professional world. I’m a lawyer. Woopeedoo.
My simple request for all of the people that I come in contact with: STOP CALLING ME MISTER! Using my first name is not a crime. I prefer it. And maybe, it’ll make our jobs just that much easier (especially if you don’t think I am some sort of pretentious asshat).
The client is mister, ma’am, sir, your worshipfulness, etc. Not me. I’m just the professional bullshit artist in the nice suit.
Very truly yours,