Lessons in client retention (as taught by Pixar)

Caller: I want to sue a golf course.
Me: You are going to have to tell me a little more than that.
Caller: I was bit by a squirrel as I was playing golf.
Me: [I attempt to play the resulting snort off as a cough] Ahem…What did the golf course say?
Caller: They said it wasn’t their squirrel.
Me: Do they supply their own squirrels at the course?
Caller: I didn’t think to ask.

Next time, I am letting Dug take the call:



I think this guy is a prime candidate for the cone of shame.