The client has made one of those rare good points

Client: I don’t understand what I am supposed to be signing.
Me: It’s a settlement agreement.
Client: Like this, what does this mean “For and in consideration of the payment to me…” Explain this to me!
Me: Once you sign this agreement, the Defendant gets to kidnap you, send you to China for scientific testing and you will be poked and prodded with sharp objects for the rest of your life.
Client: What?
Me: Just sign the agreement and they will give you a lot of money.
Client: Why couldn’t it just say that?