How to put a Prick Lawyer in his place: Seven Easy Steps

1. Have a contentious motion argument where the other lawyer is demanding a trial next week.
2. Get a date three weeks out.
3. As the lawyer is setting the date for exactly [three weeks from now] with the scheduler, ask him to move it 3 days later due to a family commitment.
4. Use the phrase: ‘It’s just a matter of professional courtesy’
5. Have the other lawyer, in earshot of the judge but under his breath, call you a ‘jackass’
6. Loudly respond, “Did you just call me a jackass?!?!” so that everyone in the courtroom can hear you, especially the judge.
7. Be given a new trial date, 6 weeks out, from the judge.

Jackass.