Friday, March 07, 2008

The Week in Review

The work week is over.  I am, as they say, le tired.  But it's the good tired.  Here are a few of my disjointed thoughts as I sit here in bed pondering a nap.  Or just going to sleep.  Or drinking more.

  • For those of you who are not familiar with Cook County Courts, I can help you out a little.  Criminal Courts are at 26th and California, that's all you really need to know for the purpose of this paragraph.  Chancery is at the Daley Center and I know a judge there; this is all I know about the functioning of this court division.  First Municipal is legal equivalent to Judge Judy.  But the people on Judge Judy are dressed better.  And likely smell better [this definitely includes the lawyers].  Law Division is where the money is.  The suits are hot and so are the people.  Even the uggos look good.
  • When a client, instead of saying 'take care,' says 'be safe' the proper response from the attorney is, in fact, 'don't give knifed.'  Note: this only works when its a client who is currently incarcerated.
  • I got yelled at by a judge for not reading his mind.  Grouchy crank.
  • A law clerk impressed the hell out of me on Tuesday: "I've been listening to you talk with your clients.  I have to say that I admire your repoire with them.  You sound like you genuinely care.  But I know that you don't give a fuck." 
  • I was handed a motion that I'll be in court for soon.  In the paperwork, I noticed that a friend of mine from law school was the opposing attorney who filed the appearance [but conversely not the motion].  The notice on it had a typo so I called to find out what time the motion actually is going to be heard.  I found out the corrected time.  And, as it was late on a Friday, I asked if my friend was going to be the one presenting the motion for the other side.  When the response is a cold "He's no longer with us" it tends to darken the afternoon.
  • In the aforementioned law division, I was subtly trying not to drool on my suit observing the future Mrs. Namby Pamby bend over right next to me.  Her legal expertise [flexibility] caused me not to hear the clerk call my case.  I am nothing but professional at all times.