Friday, June 29, 2007

My iPhone Saga

It started at 4pm. I got out of the gym and made a phone call:

"Where you at?"
"The store near Cabrini, I'm 45th and last in line"
"I'm on my way"
And that is how my quest to get an iPhone began. I arrived at the AT&T store about 4:15 and took my place in 49th at the end of the line. Idle chatter with those around and joining began to pass the time. The person behind me was a dirty hot 40 year old (she was on the phone the whole time we waited detailing her last one night stand/one night stand turned a few dates with sex). The person in front of me was an uber-geek. My friend (Mr. 45th) got a cute girl in front of him that wanted to talk to him the whole time we waited.

The question on everyone's mind was how many iPhones were they going to have. The the biggest hunk of whaleshit answer that AT&T personel were giving "We haven't received them yet and I don't know." The time began to fly by. And then 6pm arrived. The line was anxious. The crowd, now over 100, wanted their iPhones.

They let people in a few at a time. Thirty minutes later the line, 25 people had made their way inside. Then I get a phone call from a friend at an another AT&T store: "I'm number 20 in line and they ran out of the 8 gigabyte phone at 19" Shit. This is bad. I pass this information on the crowd around. They take it bad. Then the AT&T people start to tell us to anticipate them running out of inventory at some point this evening (they won't tell us how many phones they have, but they will tell us that they will run out) but fear not, when they run out you can place an order to have an iPhone shipped directly to you faster than anyone else.. Another 10 people in front of me have made it inside and I am about 6 from the front when the announcement ripples forth that this store is out of the larger model iPhone (this is the one that I intended to buy and only this one). Well. Fuck. Almost three hours wasted. And no iPhone. I'm near the front of the line when this occurs so I figure that I can go in and play with the demo model that they have set up.

I get inside. My friend is at the cash register getting his 4 gigabyte iPhone when the announcement that they are now out of iPhones. My friend got the last one in the store. My friend got the last one in the store ahead of the cute girl that he was talking to because she was taking a phone call. That is priceless. Oh well, so I go to the display to start playing with the iPhone. I pick it up and begin to play when the salesperson announces that they can help the next person. I decline and say that I am not going to order the phone, I'll just go someplace else.

I should have just dropped my pants in front of Wain, the manger/salesperson, because he reaction could not have been any more harsh:
"You aren't going to place an order?"
"No, you ran out, so I am just going to demo this for a minute"
"You have to leave"
"You have to leave NOW!"
"I just waited three hours outside of your store. Dealt with your misinformation. And as I walk in the store you run out of the phone. And you expect me to leave without at least trying the phone out? You must be kidding.
"That's it, you are leaving now"
It's at this point that the five foot, eight inch, 350 pound Wain (this is his real name) begins to move directly at me in a threatening matter. To complicate things, the armed security guard has come at me from the right side to force me towards the door (his hand was definitely right on top of the gun holster...what a douchebag). As I was corralled towards the door, I handed Wain my empty water bottle and asked him to throw it out. He declined. I asked for a trash can. And getting that out of him was a chorse. After that, I was kicked out of the AT&T store in Cabrini Green. No iPhone and pissed as hell at the jackasses of AT&T.

But all hope was not lost.

My friend and the cute girl he was talking with wanted to both get 8 gigabyte iPhones. So the road trip 15 or so miles to the Old Orchard Mall Apple Store began. He and I both drove. When I got there, not knowing where the hell the Apple Store was, parked on the opposite side of the mall. Once I figured this out, I ran.

No. I sprinted.

I get to the store. It's packed. But no line. I ask if they have 8 gigabyte iPhones. They do. Just go to the counter and they will take great care of me. They did. They had like 200 or more iPhones in commerative iPhone bags sitting behind the counter.

$652 later, I now own the greatest phone ever.

My friend brought his MacBook and he activated it in store. It was the first in-store activation that this Apple Store had. A group of salespeople and other casual onlookers had surrounded us as this was going on. They all applauded when the activation was completed (so freakin quick!) My turn was next and less than 10 minutes later I made my first phone call on my very own iPhone.

I slowly sauntered back to my car with the biggest shit-eating-grin on my face. I set out to get an iPhone and five hours later, I had my very own in hand.