Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Love: A One Scene Play

The scene opens as the author lies in bed. He can hear through the halls of the house one side of a phone conversation that just keeps going and going and going. Soon he realizes that it is the Roommate and his girlfriend. Arguing. He lies in bed for the next 20 minutes thankful that this makeshift alarm has rousted him from his Nyquil-induced slumber. Eventually he gets out of bed and starts coffee and the roommate appears shortly after.

My Roommate: (On the phone, from a far) Babe. I. Have. To. Get. Ready. For. Work. We'll talk later.
Me: Sounds like you are having a fun morning
My Roommate: You have no idea.
Me: What on earth were you two arguing about
My Roommate: I can't tell you
Me: Yeah right
My Roommate: Fine. So I showed the ring to The Girlfriends Roommate so I could get a female perspective on it.
Me: Not to rub sand in your wound, but I was wondering what you were doing bringing her over here last night.
My Roommate: I WAS EXCITED! Can you blame me?
Me: No, I guess not
My Roommate: So, The Girlfriends Roommate tells The Girlfriend about the ring...I know...I know...I should have seen this coming...but she says it is not exactly like the one she wanted.
Me: Jeeeeeeeez
My Roommate: And so now she's asking 'Can I take it back if I don't like it?' to which I'm like, 'Fuck No!'
Me: Joyous morning for you
My Roommate: I'm telling you, this is the problem with Northside girls they expect the world. I should have just proposed to a Southside Girl. I could have given her a one carat and she would have soiled herself. [A pause] Now, if you gave most girls a two carat diamond ring, they would suck your cock at anytime and anywhere.
Me: You would think
My Roommate: But not her. And that's why I love her