Coordinated, Party of One

Our office had a meet and greet with a federal judge this morning and I got to tag along. My advice on how to act:

1) While waiting for him to arrive, make sure you spill copious amounts of coffee all over your suit. The color combination of suit + coffee is sure to impress a federal judge. Coffee + Cologne...great scent.

2) When moving to shake the judge's hand, while avoiding the other chairs in the conference room, make sure to clip the podium with your hip. The noise of bone colliding against metal wakes the judge up before he gives his talk. And it gives everyone a chance to laugh at you.