Touching the Future, One Hairy Hand at a Time

I need your help.

Just so happens that because of a fleeting moment of compassion and insanity, I signed up to be a 1L mentor. I'm looking for suggestions of 'advice' to give these aspiring intellectuals.

I have three students to mold into fine works of class skipping, non-reading, namby-pamby disciples.

Help me help you.