Tuesday, April 18, 2006

You can't fix stupid

It's almost 9am here. I have a work meeting in 2 hours. Class following that. And my Appellate Oral Argument at 4:30. Now, the class that I am orally advocating for today [haha I said advocating], at least 30% of the students in there are members of something called Cite Checkers and Professorial Indentured Servants Anonymous (or law review for short).

Then there's me: Top 100% of the class, Drools while talking, Mr. Pants-before-underwear.

I know that my esteemed classmates have been prepping this in their "study-groups" debating about "hypothetical" questions from the panel "of" judges. I know that they have there opening statement and their closing statement committed to memory. I know that they could tell you what the fifth word is in the third paragraph on page three of the sixth case that bears little relevance to the case at bar. [Just in case you were wondering the word is snuffolofogus...or maybe it is hijacking]

Then there's me. My entire prep work consists of "May it please the court, I have Cubs tickets and I yield my time. Thank you." However, I haven't really figured out how I am going to address the first question the panel is bound to ask, "Ahhh...counselor?...counselor!?! The Cubs are in Los Angeles tonight..."

It's gonna be a good day. And I'm going to knock the crap out of this appellate argument. Why? Because I can.

And if nothing else, I'll be able to drool and destroy my GPA at the same time.