My morning

6:40: Alarm goes off, "Hello Moto" can be heard throughout the house. Hit the snooze button on the side of the cell phone. Repeat at 6:48, 6:56, 7:04, 7:12, and again at 7:20. Phone 6, Me 0.

7:20: Slowly it dawns on me that no matter how many times I fall back asleep, "Hello Moto" will still be there to end your dreams. Time to end this nefarious struggle

7:28: Realize it is freezing in the house, and that I am shivering uncontrollably. Search room for clean sweatshirt. None found. Find zipper sweater with stuck zipper. Put on. Get Stuck. Badness ensues. Good thing the roommate didn't see me fight with an article of clothing

7:29: Put on coat. I look tres chic in an overcoat, t-shirt, and boxer-briefs. Have first cup of coffee. Spill on table, notes, and coat [prevented burnage of things important]. On the bright side of things, I am now awake.

7:40: Second cup of coffee. Thoughts of mainlining it into the blood stream run through the mind.

7:56: Third cup of coffee. Get in the shower with said cup. Nothing like cream, sugar, and warm shower water to focus on the mind. Maybe I have an addiction. I end up washing my hair twice. Because I have mad cow or alzheimers or both. [See Denny Crane]

8:10: Out of shower. Dressed. Attempting to put on shoes purchased yesterday. Realize I don't have a shoe horn. Attempt to use finger as make shift shoe horn. Get the right shoe on no problem. Left shoe is being a bastard. It insults my love of the color pink and calls me a whole range of names while refusing to slip on. Finger doesn't work. Neither does a pen. One knife doesn't work either. After about 5 minutes and jury-rigging two knives into the back end of the shoe, I realize that I am Cinderella's ugly stepsister...but wearing two stylish looking shoes. [However, now that they are on, they fit perfectly]

8:20: Out the door. It's raining. No busses. Begin 1/2 mile walk to the train. Shoes getting wet. So is the wool coat I have on. And my leather-briefcase. Woo!

8:34: Get to the station, get on the train

8:53: First stop in the loop. Realize that after the doors have remained opened for about 2 minutes that something is not right. See Police and CTA personnel flocking to the other end of my car. Great. Medical Emergency. Executive Decision is made to walk the 5 blocks from where the train is at to where I need to be.

9:15: Arrive at work, late. Drenched. Coat is soaked and so are the new leather shoes. Ride up in elevator with some friends that work in other parts of the building. Relay story of the train ride. "Oh yeah, I was on that train, I decided to stay on." He is dry, warm, and cheery.

Bring it on world.