Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Mr. Unlucky

Caller: I got bedbugs in my apartment.
Me: And?
Caller: And then I took them to my mom’s.
Me: There’s nothing I...
Caller: I also got diabetes.
Me: What?
Caller: From my pills.
Me: What does this have to do with the bedbugs?
Caller: Nothing, I just want to sue for that. And I want to sue my doctor.
Me: The doctor that prescribed you the pills?
Caller: No, my surgery doctor
Me: Oh? What possibly did this doctor do wrong?
Caller: I was pissing myself.
Me: What’s the doctor got to do with this?
Caller: I had surgery.
Me: What sort of surgery?
Caller: I don’t know.
Me: Then why do you need to sue?
Caller: After the surgery, I kept pissing myself.
Me: Occasionally surgeries aren’t successful.
Caller: But now I also can’t get an erection to shoot semen to make babies.
Me: When did these things happen to you?
Caller: Last month.

A law clerk overheard me on the call and she doesn’t believe that it was real.

Unfortunately, I can’t get her to call the guy back.