The following individual has been captured and charged with numerous violations of the United States Code, the U.N. Charter and other applicable code provisions.
Her charges include, but are not limited to, the following:
(1) Conspiracy to not have a holly, jolly Christmas;Be on the lookout for this dangerous individual. Her vast network of sympathizers number in the millions and will resort to petty acts to sustain their group motivations. If you come in contact with her she is considered pawed and dangerous.
(2) Conspiracy to destroy displays of holiday and/or Christmas cheer;
(3) Aiding and abetting the Grinch;
(4) Desecration of a Christmas tree; and
(5) Consumption of Christmas ornaments.
If you see something, say something. After you play with her for a little bit.