Tuesday Quick Hits

I hate when I am in the midst of leaving a very detailed voicemail message and I just lose all focus. Like I start rambling in generalities because I can’t remember the point that I was trying to make in the first place. Voicemail dementia is a horrid disease and I suffer from it.

Had an enlightening conversation with a defense attorney today. He didn’t know who his client was or the gender of said client and he didn’t care. The funny part was I didn’t know much more than that. It will be an exciting deposition tomorrow as both attorneys are full of the “ums”.

Turns out that air conditioning is optional, yet not preferred, in the hallways of the Daley Center. However, the courtrooms are backup storage facilities for raw meats.

I’m working on a legal matter for two of my friends. The matter requires a lot of forms to be filled out and on one of them it asks for “Please Provide Any Additional Closing Remarks.” I filled it in pithy style with a “F*** you” and sent the entire form for my friends for review. I wonder if they will catch that ground breaking legal argument when they read it over. [The trick will be not submitting it to the court with that not so subtle wordplay contained in it.]

I have this client who is twice my age and was diagnosed with congenital terminal ugliness. She won’t stop calling me and asking me out. I can’t stop thinking about vomiting. It’s the opposite of win-win.

So that's my day.