Tuesday, March 23, 2010

An Amazing Tuesday Morning: Cougars, Dancing and Attorney Fisticuffs

It started as a ho-hum Tuesday Morning. I was on the train updating my resume doing work on one of my many litigationally based cases and I was listening to music. Out of nowhere (ok, out of the shuffle wizard on my iPhone) “A Whole New World” from the Disney movie Aladdin starts to play.

I’ll give you a second to finish your laughing at me.

It goes from that classic Disney song into the BeeGees Staying Alive [Okay…laugh some more]. The day becomes awesome after this point:

The hilarity begins when I am sexually harassed hit on by a 40 something (wannabe-but-not cougar/puma) that is frequently on the same train as I am. The words “you look naked without your hat on” come out of her mouth. There were other things that occurred, but my mother reads this, and frankly, there’ll be enough questions about this incident. It was awkward and hilarious.

It gets better as the walk to the office contains several instances of openly rooting for jaywalkers to get hit by traffic. It was at this point, I posed the question to those around me at the crosswalk: “Is it chasing the ambulance if you ride in the ambulance with the injured party?” The answer, as I have determined, is no.

When I arrive at the office, my music had switched to a little Black Eyed Peas. As I was upbeat, I was dancing. And like that, another attorney walks by seeing me dance. Then my partner. With his son. There is no shame for me. It was funny. And it’s a good morning.

Off to court I went and the judge wasn’t there. So we wait for the covering judge to show. Three phone calls, one Illinois Supreme Court opinion, two games of scrabble and 200+ twitter entries later, the Judge shows up. It was a productive wait.

And now for the coup de grace:

As I am leaving the courtroom, I happen upon three attorneys immediately outside the doors. They are arguing. Loudly. “THIS IS A FUCKING MONEY GRAB BY YOU AND I AM SICK OF IT!” I turn the corner away from them. Then I hear a briefcase (or something) get slammed to the ground with a scuffle ensuing. I turn right back and witness these attorneys being physically restrained to calm suggestions of “You don’t want to do this” and “You’re a professional” and “Sweep the leg, Johnny!”

A fight. Between two attorneys. In front of the courtroom entrance.

I love this Tuesday morning.