Monday, February 15, 2010

Complaint Drafting and Instant Messaging do not mix

I tend to get sloppy when I am trying to switch between my instant messaging program and Microsoft Word. I forget that even though the chat window is front of a lot of windows, it does not mean my typing makes it to the right window.

This is just another example of how I can be very, very bad at multitasking.

NOW COMES the Plaintiff, how was your weekend? by and through his attorneys with his Complaint against XYZ Corporation and complains as follows:

1. At all relevant times, Plaintiff was a resident of LOL!!!!!

2. At all relevant times, Defendant was a nofuckingshit operating and doing business in the State of Illinois.

3. Defendant owns, operates, controls or maintains a (hereafter the “Premises”)

4. On or about June 2, 2009, Plaintiff was lawfully on the Defendant’s premises.

5. Can I go home yet? I just want to sleep under my desk.

6. At all relevant times, the Defendant owed a duty of reasonable care to all individuals, and in particular the Plaintiff, that were lawfully on the premises.

7. On or about June 2, 2009, the Defendant breached its duty to the Plaintiff and was guilty of one or more of the following negligent acts and/or omissions:
a. Carelessly and negligently managed, operated and maintained the Premises,
b. Carelessly and negligently at the office i’ll be here til about 6,
c. Failed to warn of the hazardous condition,
d. Time for scotch; and
e. Was otherwise careless and/or what a dumbass.

8. As a direct and proximate result of one or more of the foregoing negligent acts and/or omissions, the Plaintiff suffered injuries to his head, neck, boobs!, and body.

WHEREFORE, the Plaintiff prays for judgment in his favor and against the Defendant in excess of $100,000, attorneys fees and MORE COWBELL as well as any additional relief that this Court deems proper just.
Let this be a lesson to you: review before handing to the partner. Or maybe I just should close g-chat and focus on work. Either or.