I’ve wanted to have reader suggested posts for some time (also known as reader assisted writer’s block removal) and I’ve been spurned into action from a recent comment from longtime reader EM:
I've been following your blog for a long time now and as I'm applying for jobs, this post made me wonder, how would Namby write his resume? I'm looking for impressive ways to state that as an associate, I have concentrated my work on gchatting and random internet searches.So my hope is that I can have a useful post for serious job hunters in need of a laugh.
That said, I would find a positive story about yourself that highlights your awesomeness as a lawyer. If you are a law student
I was unemployed for nearly a year after law school. Thus, clearly I am an expert. Or a colossal failure.
Resume says: Researched and collaborated on multiple litigation projections including labor and employment, intellectual property, insurance coverage and multiple other issues.
What you did: gChatted with your employed friends who work in labor law, IP law, insurance coverage and other practice areas.
Resume Says: Prepared pleadings, motions and all other necessary litigation documents for filing with the Court.
What you did: Copy, collate and staple.
Resume says: Job responsibilities included all aspects of the litigation process including settlement negotiation and trial work.
What you did: Coffee. Cream. Two Sugars.
Resume says: Drafted dispositive motions and supporting briefs.
What you did: Spell check, copy, collate and staple.
Resume Says: Handled client intake.
What you did: Chased the ambulance. Caught the ambulance.