Attorney-at-Duhhhhh

I went to a hospital today so I could sign up clients as paralawyer extraordinaire Danny DeVito taught us in The Rainmaker attempt to retrieve medical records for an upcoming settlement conference.

At this hospital, the medical records are kept near the dead bodies (and far away from the public), so they gave me an escort to the office. 10 minutes, a series of left & rights and one elevator ride later, I was there. The escort commented that she hoped I remembered that because I was going to be all-alone on my return trip. “No worries, I got it. Besides, I was born in this hospital, this place is in my DNA.” Forty-five minutes later, I begin the jaunt back to my car and promptly got lost.

This hospital may be in my DNA. But I was dropped by the doctor during the delivery.