My brain is eating itself, one bad question as a time

It’s a boring deposition. The second of the day. There are no windows. And the ventilation system has gone kaput. My mind begins to wander:

Question: And where were you going on blah blah blah

Really, you need to ask that question, what on earth are you thinking of discovering with this question. Are you looking for a great place to have dinner before getting rear-ended driving? You really suck at asking questions.

Question: How much were your medical bills from Ace Physical Therapy?

Are you kidding me? I would love to object right now: ‘Objection: stupid ass question’ Do you think that my client’s credibility is really going to be called to question if he cannot remember the exact amount of one of his many bills? Wow. I really need to stop thinking about this deposition or else my brain is going to explode.

Question: Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah?

I am so happy that this deposition is near my house. I love the quick commute. I really wanted to go golfing after this, but that seems to be out of the question. Stupid multi-party depositions. [Long mental pause] This answer is still going on right now? Seriously? I might just fall asleep unless another question is asked.

Question: Is this the same one?

Same one what? I’m confused. I must do something…

Me: Objection. Vague. Irrelevant. Counsel, what on earth are you talking about?

That got it done. What was I thinking about beforehand? Couldn’t have been that important.