Friday, August 21, 2009

Letterhead should be truth in advertising

The amount of correspondence that comes in and goes out on a daily basis around here is usually at a high volume. With the give and take of written thoughts, I get to see a lot of firm letterhead come across my desk. I, for one, find the way each firm announces themselves to the letter’s recipient a fascinating analysis project (for the times when I am bored out of my mind).

My firm is simple: “Attorneys at Law” and others are just as effective: “Attorneys and Counselors at Law” and “Attorneys” to name a few obvious ones. Then, there are the add-ons: “A professional corporation” “Not a partnership” and “A partnership”

I think it would be a lot more effective if the firms and lawyers would stop trying to be professional and just engage in an effective communication strategy that indicates what that firm does. For example:

Biglaw, Biglaw and Biggerlaw LLP
Attorneys and lawyers that punish
with the highest grade and quantity of paper

Trendy Boutique Litigation Firm, Ltd.
Attorneys that shank a bitch

Hag and Spineless, A Professional Corporation
Two Named Partners, but only one wears the pants, and our opponents know it

One Partner, Lots of Associates Insurance Defense Group
Driving the ambulance just fast enough to piss off that PI attorney chasing it

If nothing else, it would make me laugh at 5 on a Friday while reading all these damn letters...