I have one less worry in life

My firm is moving to a new office space. It’s a wicked pain in the ass. A suite of lawyers moving is like a Chinese Firedrill, on steroids, while skydiving without a parachute.

Needless to say, I’ve been padding my court schedule with a two-week buffer on either side of this move to deal with this chaos: “Your Honor, I recognize that a trained monkey could poop out a satisfactory response to their motion, but due to the fact that my firm is moving, we need at least 90 days to respond…” And each time, I’ve gotten the time I’ve asked for.

The practical effect is that I now have time to “pack” my office. By packing, I mean taking a stash of Banker’s Boxes and throwing as much crap as I can into them. It may not be the most space efficient process, but I assure you that it is stress relieving.

In the process, I’ve discovered that hidden in my desk was the United States Strategic Staple Reserve (USSSR for short, comrade). I use one 200 strip of staples every six to eight weeks. If I keep this usage pattern up, I will never get through the first box before I die.

I never knew I needed six hundred thousand staples…but I might.