The Tuesday Three

1. I’m playing a new game while I am waiting around in the courtroom. It’s called real or fake. Apparently, a growing number of lawyers think it is stylish to wear God-awful toupees in public.

2. I accompanied a friend to the ARDC to drop off some paperwork today. The place has the feel of the principal’s office, your dentist’s chair, and a prison. Only with less charm.

3. I find that I am hanging up the phone and promptly calling the person I have just spent 15 or 20 minutes talking to all sorts of cute names like ‘jackass’ ‘asshole’ and ‘fuckstick.’ This happens four or five times on a usual day, 10 to 12 times on a shitty day, and only once or twice on the weekends. I’m quite sure that the day will come when I don’t hang the phone up in time and I let my choice moniker for them fly while they can still hear me. I bet I’ll be billing my apology as client development.