These calls never get old

Caller: You a lawyer?
Me: Yes sir. Why are you looking for a lawyer?
Caller: I got shot.
Me: Tell me about what happened.
Caller: I don’t exactly know. I just got shot.
Me: Any idea of who shot you?
Caller: No idea. Gangbangers, I think…I was told that I could get a settlement because I got shot.
Me: Yes, but…
Caller: If you get shot, the City will give you a big settlement.
Me: That’s not exactly how it works.
Caller: What do you mean?
Me: You don’t get a settlement just because you were shot.
Caller: Shit…does it help that it happened in 1995?