1. This morning was supposed to be court appearances before my two least favorite judges to tell both of them that we are not as far along as we were supposed to be. My boss told me to and I quote “bring the lube.” A different attorney said that they are both ‘bastards.’ Upon arriving at the Daley Center I find out that one is not there and that I didn’t have to appear in front of the other. It was awesome.
2. I hate it when they let judges into the office. They are loud. They want attention. They mess up the furniture. They are much like children, only with gavels.
3. My chat with an insurance defense lawyer friend of mine:
Him: “I just finished writing a summary judgment motion in a wrongful death case, it’s awesome. I hope I win. No money for the Plaintiff!”4. I gave my upper lip a paper cut. I really should watch what I’m doing.
Me: “You know what the difference between a defense lawyer and a catfish is?
Him: “No”
Me: “One’s a bottom feeding, shit-sucker and the other’s a fish”
Him: “At least I don’t only care for my clients 1/3”
5. Professional Advice to Soon to be Law Grads: Don’t interrupt the boss when he’s napping.
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