Schadenfreude (Roommate Style)

My roommate has been in a Mexican Resort for the past week. He has been sending me text messages such as 'It's 85 Degrees' and 'I am eating lobster and drinking on the oceans shore' and 'I'm in a private oceanside villa.' I began to hate him with each passing text message.

He's back now and the first thing he did was make a mad dash to the Pepto Bismol.

Seems that in between sending text messages and the tequila shots, the idea that a pina colada purchased outside of the resort would contain local water must have slipped his mind. He came with a tan and Montezuma's Revenge. Sucker.