Friday, February 02, 2007

Confession after Today's Physical Therapy

1. I accused my Physical Therapist of supporting terrorism...for not wanting to see Super Bowl Coverage 24/7 on ESPN.

2. I lost count during the various exercises I was doing. I believe this is because I am trying to not obviously gawk at the four incredible attractive female therapists as they demonstrate exercises to their patients.

3. One therapist offered to bribe me for favorable testimony if he ever needed workman's comp. The offer was simple: an xBox 360 game. I accepted his terms and immediately blamed his boss for whatever injuries he may have.

4. I openly announce my disdain for sports teams and franchises while I am being 'therapized'. So far I have expressed a desire to see God's vengeance brought down upon: Anyone who cheers the Pistons, Anyone from New York, Saints Fans that aren't from New Orleans, All Cowboy Fans, Duke Fans, UNC Fans [fuck it, let's just lump the entire ACC in this list], anyone that does not worship at the throne of The General, All teams in the NFL except for the Bears, ESPN's Football 'Experts' [especially Tom Jackson and Michael Irvin], and a host of others. Today I was quite poignant by announcing for all to hear that a certain college basketball could "blow me" and "I hope his plane crashes"

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.