Monday, December 18, 2006

An Exam Horror Story with a $15 Dollar Happy Ending

One of my friends was taking an exam last week. You know how this is: stress, stress, and a little more stress added in for good measure. 4 Essay Questions with suggested time allotments on the minutia of this particular topic. Things were just ducky in this particular Bar Class exam until 45 minutes were remaining in the test period.

A proctor emerged and an announcement was made: The exit polling data was flawed the first [of four] essay questions was substantially erred. The correction was announced, the messenger fled, and the room erupted in chaos. The announced change totally altered the question requiring a total rewrite of the answer.

The class was left with three choices: 1) Change the question they had already spent time on 2) Like a gunshot wound, just ignore it and tell yourself that everything is fine, or 3) shoot the gunner. Some chose Option A, others chose Option B and the gunner hasn't been heard from since.

But, the Law School that I attend is not without a soul. They have heart. They resolved the situation. They moved to correct the problem with the speed of a sprinter fitted with cement shoes. One. Week. Later.

With the elegance and class that people everywhere should mimic, the Dean sent this e-mail today:

To: Class
From: The Dean
Date: 12/18/06
Re: Your Exam

As you know, there was a significant error on the first question of your examination. Unfortunately, the error was not discovered until well after the examination had begun...

After consultation with the Professor, we have determined that there is no means by which the exam can be graded fairly. Accordingly, the entire class will receive a grade of "Pass." Unsatisfactory as this outcome may be, it represents the only viable resolution.

We sincerely apologize for the error,

The Dean
Had I been in the class, I think the appropriate response would be:
To: The Dean
From: Namby Pamby
Date: 12/18/06
Re: Your Exam

Dear Dean,

Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to personally respond to the exam issue that my class encountered. I believe that your solution is amicable to all involved. I've attached an itemized total of the expenses incurred because of your error. You'll notice that the total for painkillers is relatively low and this is due to the fact that I decided against suicide and just went for the binge-drinking recovery method. Belvedere Vodka and Johnny Walker Blue did a fine job in assuaging the pain that I experienced.

However, because of the prescribed course of treatment, I missed the next two exams that I had during. This brings me to the third entry on the invoice, "tuition reimbursement." I look forward to prompt payment and I wish you a Joyous Holiday Season.


Well, at least they passed...