What about Jack?

1. Once, someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a "knock knock" joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the goddamned bomb was.
2. In order to control illegal immigration in the United States, the president installed cardboard cutouts of Jack Bauer along the US/Mexico border.
3. Jack Bauer teaches a course at Harvard entitled: "Time Management: Making the Most Out Of Each Day."
4. Jack Bauer was able to eliminate Bird Flu playing Duck Hunt.
5. Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're fucking dead."
6. Jack Bauer once went into a bar, and asked for a 'Jack Bauer'. He received three shots of Jack Daniel's, a shot of kerosene and four shots of tequila mixed. When seeing this, another man approached the bar and asked for a Jack Bauer. He got a 9mm round to the face.