Wednesday, February 15, 2006

What if it wasn't Dick?

How these individuals, after shooting a friend on a hunting trip, would have publicly addressed the mishap:

  • George Bush: “Today, I’m announcing a change in the terrorism alert level…”
  • Bill Clinton: "I did not fire my weapon at that lawyer, Kenneth Starr"
  • John Kerry: “I actually missed the lawyer before I hit him”
  • Jack Bauer: (While reloading) "I was on a quail hunt?"
  • Al Gore: "He was talking ill about my 'Lockbox'"
  • Antonin Scalia: “Living Constitution…my ass”