A few more facts about Jack. Check the sidebar for the link.
- Jack Bauer once won a game of rock paper scissors using neither rock, paper nor scissors.
- Jack Bauer brings a knife to a gun fight and always wins.
- If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".
- Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
- Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.
- Jack Bauer removed the "Escape" button from his keyboard. Jack Bauer never needs to escape.
- Men are ok with their wives fantasizing about Jack Bauer during sex; because they are doing the same thing.
- If Jack Bauer saw a terrorist reaching for a bomb to blow himself up, Jack would shoot the bomb first. Nobody steals a kill from Jack Bauer.
- During the 18 months Jack Bauer was believed dead, CTU saved over $1 billion on ammunition.
- Jack Bauer can get a McRib any time he wants. That "For a limited time" bullshit doesn't apply to him. `
- Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.
- Finding Nemo would have been vastly more exciting had Jack Bauer been looking for him.
- Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better fucking do it.
- If Jack Bauer lived next door to Kramer, Kramer would knock before entering.
- Your attraction to Jack Bauer in no way affects your sexual orientation.
- On Sunday mornings, Jack skips church. God comes to his house instead.
- When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.
- When Jack Bauer signs up for a free iPod online, they actually give him one.
- Jack Bauer knows Victoria's secret.
- Jack Bauer got Tyler Durden to talk about Fight Club. Then Jack beat the piss out of him.
- In 'Con Air' Nicholas Cage says, "There are only two men I trust. One is me and the other's not you." The other person is Jack Bauer.
- Kobe Bryant will pass the ball when Jack Bauer tells him to.
- Even if Red Bull does give you wings, Jack Bauer will keep you on the fucking ground.
- Jack Bauer has more lives than Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, B, A, Start.
- Jack Bauer finished his LSATs in an hour, and used the remaining time to kill Ramon Salazar. He got a 176.
- Chuck Norris once tried to roundhouse kick Jack Bauer. Before his leg made it half way to Jack's face it was gunned off and Jack was already on his way to castrate Vin Diesel.
- Jack Bauer screwed Money Penny and sent James Bond the satellite pictures as a joke.
- Beetlejuice makes God damn sure not to utter "Jack Bauer" more than twice.
- Jack Bauer won a fight with Coach Ditka.
- When Jack Bauer goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
- Edgar Stiles had sex with seven different women last night by simply invoking Jack Bauer's name.
- Nathan Hale said, "I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country." Fuck that, Jack Bauer is on his third.
- David Spade always says 'yes' to Jack Bauer when he wants to redeem his credit card miles.
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