I love public transportation

--You can wear all of the makeup in the world, but nothing will hide your adam's apple, sir. (I love riding the CTA in the morning)

--No matter how stiff I might be, I will never get a massage from the man in the "Chicago School of Massage" with the tatoos covering his arms and emerging from his neck, the 15 piercings (tongue, nose, thing in the cheek and a zillion rings in the ears)

--Rolled back sleeves are not the same thing as French Cuff shirts. Be a man, wear cufflinks.

--I will never, ever, get a seat on the train in the morning; this is my fate.