Two normal people are infinitely smarter than two lawyers

From the trenches with one of my best friends from law school:

Lawyer: You withheld information!!!
Client: I didn’t think that it mattered.
Lawyer: I asked you if you had ever been arrested and you told me no!
Client: That was before I found Jesus.

From my own day to day shenanigans:

Caller: I have a malpractice case and I want to sue my doctor.
Me: What did your doctor mess up exactly?
Caller: I dunno.
Me: Then when I’m supposed to tell the judge that your doctor did wrong?
Caller: I have a feeling that he is a quack.

And non-lawyers wonder why we drink so much.