Saturday, February 05, 2011

A good deed likely to be punished

I’ve said many times that I hate lawyers that communicate to their opponent only through written motions. I’ve got one of those opponents right now.

It started when I received late notice on one of their motions and ended up missing the hearing. That motion, which I was objecting to, was granted. It continued when their office covered a case management conference and inserted language that was less than friendly in the “agreed” order. Finally, last week, I received a motion from their office that they filed just to a pain: “Counsel’s Motion to Be A Dick or, in the Alternative, Motion to be a an Inflamed Hemorrhoid.”

Throughout the process of litigating this case, as I’ve attempted to lay out above, I’ve realized that I can’t trust my opponents to behave themselves before the judge when I am not present. So, for Counsel’s motion, I made sure to attend the court hearing.

My opponent, on the other hand, declined to follow suit.

Now, if this were my motion and I decided not to come, I am fairly sure that my opponent would (1) had my motion stricken the instant the case was called, (2) ask the court to assess costs for my no show and (3) find some additional way to be a douche.

What do I do?

I tell the court that I am more than willing to wait for a while to see if he is just running late. I wait a half hour and no one shows. I pull the anti-douche move to resolve this matter: “Your Honor, I haven’t been able to get in contact with opposing counsel but I don’t want to inconvenience him by having his motion stricken. I’d suggest that we just enter and continue this two weeks so that we can make sure that counsel can present his motion.”

I know this is going to come back to bite me in the ass.