Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Two clients, one attorney

Case Value Before Deposition
Plaintiff A: $250,000
Plaintiff B: $250,000

General Demographics
Plaintiff A: 21 year old male, living in the suburbs with his parents and his wife to save money
Plaintiff B: 21 year old male, living in the boonies with his on again, off again girlfriend when he is not in jail.

Plaintiff A: College graduate. Looking to go to divinity school because he wants to be a missionary with his wife.
Plaintiff B: Some high school. Didn’t finish because “reading books and shit” isn’t his thing.

Present Employment
Plaintiff A: Teaches Special Needs Students.
Plaintiff B: Works landscaping. Sometimes.

Tax History
Plaintiff A: Pays taxes. “I have all my returns since I started working at the age of 14 if you need them”
Plaintiff B: “I get paid in caaaash. Why should I give the government any?”

Unfortunate Activity the Plaintiff Engaged in that Could Give the Defense an out to having to Pay the Plaintiff for his injuries.
Plaintiff A: Played several games of pickup football.
Plaintiff B: Bribed a witness to his accident. Threatened 2 others.

Opposing Counsel’s Comments Regarding the Plaintiff After His Deposition
Plaintiff A: “Your client wouldn’t lie if his life depended on it. What a great young man.”
Plaintiff B: “Your client is a little asswipe. If I had my way, I would take this case to trial and kick his ass all over the place”

Potential Settlement Value After Deposition
Plaintiff A: $250,000 or more.
Plaintiff B: $1,500. Maybe.

Closing Thoughts
Plaintiff A: Makes you like being a Plaintiff’s lawyer. And restores faith in humanity as a whole.
Plaintiff B: Makes you want to be a Defense Lawyer. And makes you want to shoot your clients.