Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Counsel will be hoisted with his own petard

I get lazy when it comes to keeping my billable time. It’s a bad habit that I’ve gotten into and one that I will have to break when I make the move away from the ambulance chase.

I presently have my largest litigation file splayed before me as I am attempting to put together a bill for services rendered based off of Court orders, e-mails, letters, faxes and hand written notes to myself. Thankfully (for you ethically minded people) this is not a task where my gift of fiction comes into play as all of my work can be see (and proved) by the items sitting before me.

However, this is a task where my flair for wordplay is a required asset.

My clients that did not like the thought of complying with court ordered discovery. Thus, I had to get “creative” in how I get the clients to comply: I lied advanced the deadlines as told to the client.

This is all well and “good” until the time has to be billed: I find that as I enter my time it does not sync up with the truth created for the clients. My clients are fastidious record keepers. They hate this lawsuit. They will figure out my cunning ruse. And my jig will be up.

Thus, I have three options if I get found out:

  1. Pray that they forget what I’ve told them every day for three weeks (not bloody likely)
  2. Blame it on timekeeping software (which is high tech speak for a legal pad and the clock on the wall)
  3. Don’t move because clients, like T-Rex, won’t grasp your deception if you stay still.
I love clients. They make life fun and unbearable. Or something.