The morning emotions

Stress: This week has started off like a NASCAR race. On a wet track. And some asshole has just wrecked a minute distance in front of me. Dodging the cars, the flying body parts and all of the other chaos has been a wee bit taxing so far. Without fail, I woke up this morning around 4:30 with the cold sweat and the fear that I blew a deadline for a motion response. Only to realize that the deadline is over three weeks away. Crazy 1, Sanity 0

Shame: I was in the throes of my morning constitutional. At which point, another attorney from my office entered into the bathroom and immediately started talking to me. And then started talking about my morning constitutional. Shame, oh shame.

Fear: A former secretary has swung by the office. I think she is pregnant. I want to congratulate her. But, my track record with these sorts of things lead me to believe that she has just experienced unintended weight gain.

Embarrassment: One of my clients called. He started detailing what the doctor was saying regarding his recovering. I promptly cut him off and started spewing the course of action that he needed to do regarding his future medical treatment. About 45 seconds into my spiel, the client cut me off and admitted that he was quite confused as he had no idea what I was talking about. I spent the next several seconds in silence trying to figure out what had just happened. Then I realized it: “I am so sorry, but I have just confused your file with one of my other clients…my brain has yet to kick in today.”

Nausea: Turns out that the former secretary is pregnant. She has spent the last 25 minutes detailing the trials and tribulations of pregnancy to several of the female attorneys and staff (and “fortunately” for me, within earshot of my office). The leading topic of conversation: vomit. I never knew that anyone could talk about vomit for such an extended period of time.