Take me to your office supplies

I went to visit Artful at his big law firm office yesterday. This was my first trip to his office and it didn't exactly start smoothly. I first got off on the wrong floor, then I waited 10 minutes for another elevator and then I got trapped in that elevator with a woman who I thought was going to be going in labor at any second…but I finally reached his floor [without having to dirty my suit as a stand in midwife].

It was big. And pretty. And his view sucked ass. [Who wants to be apart of the Chicago skyline? Really? PREEETENTIOUS!]. And this was just one floor of 10.

He gave me the tour on which we cut through the supply/break room. It was like heaven. Racks of pens and paper and officey things [like whiteout!]. All neatly arranged. And shiny. He kept offering me the free soda or coffee or animal crackers. I just stared lovingly at the office supplies.

Unfortunately, he did not approve when I grabbed a bunch of pens and attempted to walk out...