Thursday, January 08, 2009

Petulant Child, J.D.

I am sitting in the courtroom waiting for the call to begin as the last one finishes up. I try and pay attention because sleeping in the jury box and snoring in open court is a habit best left to the judges, not young attorneys.

Shortly after I sat down, a lawyer walked up to counsel’s table and forcefully ripped an order out of the hands of his opposing counsel as he was reading it [It sounded as if he was removing a paper jam from the printer] . The attorney who had just lost the order demanded that it be returned rather loudly: “Give it baaaaaaaaack…I haven’t been able to reeeeeaad it…”

The Sheriff’s deputy in this courtroom is one who actively inserts himself into the more vocal attorneys situations reminding them that he is, in fact, carrying a gun and that you should shut the fuck up when Court is in session. He grabs the order and says, “Children, I will show this order to the judge when you two calm down. Now be quiet.” As soon as the Deputy turns away and moves back toward the Judge, the lawyer sitting at the table crosses his arms, pouts, and says so the whole courtroom can hear him: “Don’t call me a child!”

There isn’t much of a moral here except that maybe if you are 70 years old, you shouldn’t act like a child… Then again, maybe you should act like a child, because the 15 other lawyers in the courtroom were all failing to stifle their laughter behind your back.