The Morning Court Call begins early and the assembled masses were in for a show:
Fifteen minutes later after multiple motions from both attorneys, objections, and arguments over the definition of the word “it,” the pair of attorneys finally turn from the Judge. As far as I can tell, neither of them actually got what any of their motions were asking for. But I was too busy laughing quietly with everyone else in the room to pay that close of attention.Attorney One: This is my motion for…Attorney Two: Your honor, if I just can say…
Attorney One: This is my MOTION, let me FINISH!
Attorney Two: Your honor, as I was saying regarding this motion…
Attorney One: I just want to present my motion!
The Court: Gentleman, you have every right to take advantage of the Court’s time, that is what I am here for. However, you are here on a weekly basis because of the adversarial personal relationship between the two of you. You are grinding the litigation process to a halt because you refuse to agree on anything…
Attorney Two: As I began to say your honor…
Attorney One: I have to be allowed to speak! This is my MOTION!
The Court: You do realize that right now you are just looking at me. But when this is all over, you are going to have to look at the 30 pairs of eyes that are staring at your backs intently right now?
These two immediately realize that the entire courtroom, packed with attorneys who have just witnessed this temper tantrum, are now staring at them. They stop moving away from the bench. One attorney puts out his hand to shake. The other attorney looks at the appendage like it is infected with Ebola but after several long seconds, he shakes. It was much like Yitzhak Rabin and Yasser Arafat at the White House. Only this wasn’t peace, it was just another Cook County personal injury case.
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