Monday, December 22, 2008

Brain attacks attorney, liver mourns

I could write about how I was talking on the phone, walking up stairs, balancing coffee on two freshly filed stacks of complaints. And then I stumbled. Drenching the phone, my suit, and the complaints in Starbucks Non-Fat Latte.

But no.

In the chaos that is the last few minutes of the day before the world starts to close, I like to cram as many things into a short of amount of time as possible. Today has been no different. I was preparing two UPS shipments on projects that I was working on for most of the day. One was a packet of minor pre-trial conference documents that I was sending to the judge on a deadline. The other was an unimportant $100,000 check. I get all the things that I need together for the judge. Sign everything. Review everything. And shove it in the UPS envelope.

Now to focus on article #2: the client has been demanding this check for a significant period of time and was growing quite irate that it hadn't been placed in her hands. The bank was a little late in delivering this thing and when it finally arrived, I looked at it, and shoved it in the UPS envelope. And then I rushed to get them to our receptionist before the UPS guy shows up.

It's been a good days work. Calm sets in. And then a phone call comes in about the check. I think about the two UPS envelopes. I think about how I can't remember looking at the labels before I stuffed the contents into each package. I then thought about the judge receiving this check in the morning. And the pre-trial documents ending up in the hands of the client. I then think about my boss telling me I'm fired. Panic hits and then my stomach evacuates my body.

I sprint out of the office and head for where the UPS guy normally congregates. Not there. I run to the elevators and almost break off my finger as I hit the button with fear induced force. He's not on the ground level. Or the service area. I run to security and plead with them to locate this guy. They can't raise him on the radio, he might have left.

Fuck fuck fuck.

I leave my number with the security post and beg them to find him.

20 minutes later he shows up. The packages I sent in hand. I rip open one of them to find that they were properly prepared and sent to the appropriate individuals. He looks at me as I reseal the package. Laughs. And wishes me a Merry Christmas