Monday, June 30, 2008

A letter to the idiots with the Blackberry

I dig it that it's early. You haven't completely woken up yet. You may be hungover or you may be day dreaming. Maybe you are just stupid. Whatever the reason is, you are walking slow. And in my way.

And you have your Blackberry out.

You are the foot mounted version of a drunk driver. A typical visual: The lawyer sporting his firm backpack checking his e-mail on the crowded city streets moves like a sloth stuck in tar while cement is being poured over their head. You get these people three across and it creates the pedestrian traffic jam from hell.

No matter what I do, I can't get around you. To make matters worse, you have decided that your Blackberry is the perfect platform to not only send e-mail while walking, but it is also the perfect telephone communication device.

I know, I know, it is a telephone. But you are that douchebag that doesn't want the Bluetooth Headset so you want to walk and talk with your elbow so far out from you routinely clip the passersby straight in the face.

My message here is simple: get of my way. Please.

If you don't, I'll just cross check you as I pass you so that your Blackberry falls from your hand. And then you'll attempt to reach down only to be forced away from your electronic leash by the hordes of people behind you.

Then you'll actually have to do work like the rest of us: on our iPhones.